Things That Drive Me Crazy About Makeup

You can tell from the title that I'm not a big fan of doin' up my face, but it's not that I totally hate makeup—more like I hate it when it's used incorrectly, which seems to be the only way I know how to use it. I would be perfectly happy if I never wore makeup again, and here are 10 reasons why:

1. It's a hassle to put on in the morning. I can handle getting dressed and making waffles before school, but that's about it. If I try to add lipstick and blush to the mix, I will end up with socks on my hands and a burnt breakfast.

2. It's hard to apply. Apparently some girls are gifted with dextrous, steady hands, but I am not one of them. The last time I tried to use a mascara brush (which just so happens to look like a very tiny, very dangerous weapon) I ended up in the E.R. (well, not really). But STILL! It looks odd when your eyeliner goes up to your eyebrows.

3. When girls go crazy with it. It's sorta distracting to sit next to a girl with a caked-on face. One minute you're listening to your teacher drone on about binomial nomenclature, the next you're trying to decide whether your deskmate is an alien or a secret spy trying to hide her identity, and consequently, all her facial features. Come on, I'm not trying to be mean, but it really does look silly.

4. It is impossible to get off. Especially mascara. Despite having been in high school for 2 years, the first time I ever wore makeup was about a month ago, when the girls in the locker room viciously attacked me weilding curling irons and lipstick. I swear I still have some of that waterproof, industrial-stregth mascara on today. If anyone knows how to get it off, please tell me.

5. It's too expensive. Seriously, who want's to pay $7.99 for a glorified pencil?

6. Because most girls wear makeup, the ones who don't are bugged about it. Since I hardly ever wear makeup, people often ask me if I have really strict parents, or if I'm Amish, or if I think I'm too good to wear it. Um, no, I actually have reasons (SEE THIS LIST). Plus, when you do decide to wear makeup, people notice and ask about that, too. You're only safe if you wear it all the time. *sigh*